Sunday, May 6, 2012

Jack, an (almost) independent 6-year-old

"Mom, do I look like a 6-year-old today?" Those were some of the first words out of Jack's mouth one morning this week. He says he doesn't feel any different, now that he's turned 6. But I do.
I know I think about this every birthday, but this year he seems really big. I notice that he doesn't always want my kisses in public anymore. He isn't crazy about holding my hand in parking lots. And he sleeps like a teenager.

In some ways, parenting is getting easier. My back doesn't constantly ache from carrying boys around all day and I've almost got all the diapers out my house. But in other ways, it's harder. Now I worry about schools, friends and hurt feelings -- and lots of other things I can't really control.  

Some things I want to remember about Jack at this age:

When I look back at all the things John and I got right, holding Jack back for an extra year of preschool will be one of our best. The difference between this year and last is profound. For starters, Jack is willing to sit still and do the work -- and is proud of himself when he accomplishes a task.  He can count to 100 on his own and tells me now that he wants to learn how to count to 1,000. He can write all of his letters and numbers up to 25 or so, and will sit quietly in the back seat during road trips and practice -- something we couldn't get him to do last year if we sat on him.

He knows the difference between carnivores and herbivores and no longer wants to be a dinosaur when he grows up. Depending on which day you ask, he wants to be a fireman, a pilot or train conductor. These days, all his favorite toys are outside -- I usually find him and John playing T-ball or soccer outside in the afternoons, when I come home from work. He's also determined to earn his yellow belt in taekwondo and understands that he has to earn it with a lot of hard work. He's willing.

He's not a morning person. He can be a grouch in the morning and takes a few hours to start acting like himself. On the weekends, Ben and I are usually up for a couple of hours before Jack gets out of bed. Take today, for example. It's 9 a.m. and Jack's still sleeping while Ben and I have been up since 6:45. Jack's affinity for morning is a big reason why my favorite times with him are still bedtime -- though he always prefers that John put him to bed. When I do get to, though, we talk about his friends, kindergarten and the day's activities. 

Spencer, Quinn, Owen and Brody are his best friends, and Anna is his "girlfriend." He bought her a book at the book fair this spring and shyly gave it to her on the T-ball field this past week. Each Sunday morning, we stake out all of the 5-year-old Sunday school classrooms at church until we find Anna. And then, everything is OK. Anna's mom and I have just started texting each other when we drop one of them off, to ensure they find each other. 

He can be easily influenced by his friends, so I spend a lot of time worrying about whether his friends are good influences and trying to teach him to make good decisions on his own. Something tells me I'll be working on this one for a while. I've noticed that he has a lot of my personality traits -- his sensitivity can get him in trouble sometimes, but it also helps him pick up on the moods of others really fast. I just hope he uses it to comfort his friends, help out his brother and watch out for others. 

He's still attached to his blanket, Bobby, the little that remains of him. A few shreds of blue yarn, Bobby is easily lost these days -- which can sometimes send Jack into sheer panic that the blanket is finally gone. I'm guessing Jack knows Bobby's days are numbered. 

And finally, there's Ben -- his wrestling partner, playmate and sometimes annoying little brother. When I was pregnant when Ben and found out he was a boy, my boss promised me that I was in for the greatest blessing ever -- watching these boys grow up to be best friends. In the past year, I've broken up a lot of fights, pulled over on the side of the road to get them to stop fighting and sent them both to their rooms for yelling at each other. But I've also watched Jack include Ben in his group of friends at school, comfort him when he's hurt and help him across the parking lot while explaining the dangers of moving cars. That's when I get a glimpse of how cool it will be watching them grow up together. That's the best part. 

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