This was a lesson in patience and control. God needed to teach me both.
In late September, John and I moved into a new house after finally selling this one. I'm almost embarrassed to write about how hard this was for us. Because in almost every way you look at it, it wasn't a real problem. I wanted to sell my nice house and get another nice house.
I'm writing about it because I want to remember what I learned from it.
John and I decided to put our house on the market more than two years ago. It went off and on the market throughout that time -- and I had every sort of emotion you can imagine. Disapppointed and hopeful. Stressed and frustrated. Mad. Really mad.
"Learn this lesson, whatever it is," I told myself.
And then, I found this verse in Philippians.
"I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty." Phil 4:14 (The Message)
Paul was writing to the Philipians -- from a jail cell. Definitely not from a safe warm house where all of his family lived. Still, it was the nudge I needed and the beginning of understanding part of the lesson God was teaching me.
I planted the verse on my desk at work. Read it a dozen times a day. Memorized it. Thought on it. Prayed about it.
"Learn this lesson, whatever it is."
Staying put gave me time for things I didn't know I needed: first and foremost, time with John. Real, dedicated time where we weren't looking for houses, talking to inspectors or filling out loan applications. We weren't packing or registering Jack for new schools. We were sitting on our back porch and talking about nothing and everything.
"Learn this lesson, whatever it is," I told myself.
However cliche it sounds, I was reminded that "not yet" really is an answer. It's one I've got to be OK with, because I've never ever been let down with it. The plan He has is always far more wonderful than the one I have. I won't pretend that I was so Zen about it all in the midst of the waiting. But I know it's always true.
I do know this, though: after five weeks in our new house, I feel more at home than I ever have. Settled and thankful that I waited for what God had prepared for us.
We moved in late September, which is why I haven't blogged in weeks. My friend Amanda scolded me last week, wanting Halloween pics of my kiddos. I'm getting there. But thought I'd catch up first. (that, and I wrote this post weeks ago and just left it in my que).
Now, let's just hope this lesson sticks. On to my next.